Money and Our First Year of Marriage

What made our first year of our marriage rough was not figuring out how to live together, that came relatively easy for us, but rather, the financial situation we were in.

Before we were married, we had a small amount of knowledge of what each other’s finances looked like, but we had never really sat down and talked about it. I can say through experience, this is so important to do.

After we got married, Luke discovered that he was marrying a woman who had a credit card that was maxed out, mostly on Starbucks runs, a car loan, and a decent student loan. I discovered I was marrying a man with an even higher car loan (brand new truck), a student loan, and an adjustable mortgage. Once the mortgage adjusted, we began to slowly drown.

I remember our cell phone carrier would stop our outgoing calls because we hadn’t paid our bill. I remember a guy walking across the front of our yard, lifting the lid to where our main water valve was, turning it off, and adding a lock to it. Yes, no water because we hadn’t paid our bill. I remember being stuck at a gas station because I was out of gas and we didn’t have any money in our account to fill it up. I remember Luke working numerous side jobs trying to just make ends meet. I remember days where we both would get paid, and our account increased to -$800. And I remember dreading driving home because it felt like I was headed straight for a black hole.

But, what I also remember, is Luke stepping up to better our situation. He didn’t hesitate trying to reach out to get help, because he knew we needed it. He didn’t let his pride get in the way. All he cared about was making sure that his family was taken care of. I have to credit him for bringing us to where we are today. Without him taking those first steps (which I was initially against), we would not be debt free, we would not have realized the freedom that comes with living on a budget, and we would not have started this business trying to help others get financially organized.

1 Timothy 5:8 reads, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Luke was providing for me, he knew what I needed was to feel secure with our financial situation, and he took the necessary steps to make me feel secure. He helped strengthen our marriage… he helped me realize that I married a man that I knew would take care of me. And, as I’m writing this, I realize that he also brought the respect that I had for him to a whole new level.

Money is one of the number one causes of divorce. It shouldn’t be… Luke took action to turn our dreadful financial situation into something that brought us closer together. I cannot thank God enough for that, and I cannot thank Luke enough for being man enough to seek help.

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